Nothing Is An Emergency
Lately I've been doing this ONE thing that is actually helping my ADHD household get ready on time.
Lately, things in our house have felt… dare I say, smoother.
Not perfect. Not quiet. Not magically organized. And still chaotic, yes.
But calmer. Less anxious. Less meltdowns. Less anger.
And I keep coming back to this one simple sentence that I’ve been repeating to myself all day long, every day lately:
Nothing is an emergency.
I saw this phrase somewhere on Insta one day, probably on a parenting post (since those tend to flood my feeds these days) about anxiety. And it stuck with me. I find I’ve been saying it in the mornings when someone can’t find their shoes and we’re running late for school.
I say it in the afternoons when homework turns into frustration or someone melts down over something that seems small. Or when my kids don’t feel like unpacking their bookbags or lunchboxes.
I say it in the evenings when everyone is tired and emotions start stacking on top of each other.
I especially say it when I feel the tension rising as I am trying to prevent a sensory attack or meltdown as we are getting dressed to go somewhere (sensory mamas get it) ——Nothing is an emergency. In these moments, I make sure I verbalize it so everyone can hear. And I check my tone.
What I’ve realized is that when I slow myself down first, everything else follows.
For a long time, I think I unintentionally carried a sense of urgency into parenting. Not because I wanted to, but because urgency was the way I learned to function.
When you’re diagnosed with ADHD at age 20 and spend the next twenty years trying to course-correct your life, urgency becomes a survival strategy. Deadlines. Late assignments. The constant feeling that you’re behind. The pressure to catch up.
You learn to move fast.
You learn to react quickly.
You learn to fix things immediately.
But kids don’t live in urgency. They can’t. Their nervous systems aren’t structured for that nor do they deserve to live that way.
Kids need to be able to live in moments.
And I’ve started realizing that sometimes the biggest gift I can give them isn’t a solution, a correction, or a lecture.
Sometimes it’s just a calm nervous system.
When something goes wrong now, I pause and remind myself:
Nothing is an emergency.
A spilled drink is not an emergency.
A forgotten backpack is not an emergency.
A hard moment is not an emergency.
Ever since I’ve started intentionally doing this a few weeks ago, something interesting has been happening.
They soften.
The room softens.
The moment passes faster.
And somehow, when we slow down like that, we’re actually still on time.
Maybe that’s the biggest surprise of all.
I’m also clocking something else -
When I rush in to fix everything immediately, I might actually be preventing them from learning resilience. The ability to sit in a hard moment, figure something out, try again.
That’s a tricky balance, especially with ADHD kids. You want to support them, guide them, help them regulate… but you also want them to build confidence in their ability to handle things. All while regulating yourself.
I’m still figuring that out in real time.
I don’t have the answers, and I am constantly messing up, repairing, trying again. But lately this one quiet reminder has been changing the rhythm of our house, so I had to share it in case it could help you too.
Nothing. Is. An. Emergency.
Maybe resilience doesn’t come from rushing kids through hard moments.
Maybe it comes from showing them that hard moments aren’t emergencies.
They’re just something we move through together.
It turns out when nothing is an emergency, everything slows down enough for us to figure it out.
I think this concept can be applied in so many other areas of life, too. Can you relate? Have you ever intentionally tried to slow things down like this in your household? I’m so interested in reading about your own experiences.
It was on my heart to share this today. Love you the most, thank you so much for reading. xoxo, Ash
and yes, I need chapstick. LOL.